Last evening I was full from a late lunch and thought I’d try passing up dinner. I sat with my wife, Rita, as she ate. Eventually I got up and made myself a bread-intensive snack.
I was not happy with myself for eating or for my choice of food.
Over the years, I have become much less harsh on myself and more self-accepting and loving. However, still I was not pleased with myself. The urge to eat last night wasn’t even that strong.
This morning I realized — I have not made a decision, an intention, a commitment about losing weight and eating properly.
I believe I “should” lose weight. I also believe I should be able to enjoy eating what I want when I want to.
I have two contradicting beliefs, so no matter what I do, there is in inner conflict.
That inner conflict will continue until either I accept and appreciate the ambiguity of the situation, or I make a clear, firm inner intention.
For now, I choose to notice when I disapprove of myself for “overeating”, recognize I haven’t made a commitment to lose weight, and just let go of that disapproval feeling. I then will be in a position to simply love and accept myself and the situation. From that positive space it will be easier to move towards making eating and health goals if that is what I choose .
halgoldstein 